Dear Jorj, I looked to stay in the shadow, more honest I didn’t want to get her attention towards me. I was very afraid that next to her I would end like a butterfly in a lamp. You know that by that time I used to have the fame of a lady’s man, at which I kept a lot.
I didn’t want any type of complications in my life, and the information about her, from the rejected men, let me know that any reference at their experience was impossible, at their atrocities in the private life. These matters were unapproachable; nobody wanted to reveal his failures and revolt next to her, most of all because some of them could not even recover psychically. Then I don’t believe there exists a man whom will make a great rank from a woman’s disposal towards him, his person.
This is how things are, being unable to chase any information about what Tita was in her privacy, I thought that the mission to “help” these men would fit me, these men that neglect their wives, people like me making these women a favour, we had a quite important mission, exciting and it was not like the end will come if I meet one more woman: Tita.
More than this, people like me, “the loving ones”, don’t wish any kind of violent relationship, since it gets our body from use and the lost is double.
All the lovers believe that their amour, in which they totally involve, is enough, the other activities being less important or not at all inquiring. This is how I got to the conclusion to quietly do my own things, although I have heard that near Tita you can find bliss ness. How everybody knew that along big mountains is the abyss and how I don’t even like intense air, I definitely gave up at this person.
I still meditated on: if many of my friends had stopped at these simple meditations, they would still live today or they wouldn’t be almost crazy.
It could not happen. Everybody is eager for affirmation. It was hard to bear being a nobody, so the tumble ness got me too and I left my self in hands of faith… with all the conclusions form my meditation, with all my strict and known way, one day I see myself near Tita.
In fact I realized all this for a short time … how it happened I don’t quite know, but I have to tell you that in order to know Tita it is not enough sleeping with her. I could say that this only complicates things. Tita, you have to follow in the drawings room, clubs, there’s were she hits, were she owns.