When I saw his hungry wolf eyes, I was very afraid. A crippling fear … in that moment I realized that yesterday was my last day as a miss …today is too late …
After that he was smoking in peace. I would have liked to ask him what he felt, to tell him what I felt, what I have lived, to talk a while … about our own things. He suddenly changed.
– Can we leave, girl? And he took me home.
I had a talk with my mother; I told her … She didn’t seem surprised or contradicted, she just told me:
– You’ve done well! That’s how men are “caught”.
A week has passed, then another, he didn’t use to take me for a walk, he was coming only at night, to take what he needed, when he could, when not, he used to leave angry.
He also started to forget to take me at the fair on Saturday, fact that was noticed by all people. I had nothing to tell them. Why shouldn’t I go? Should I tell them that we were in a fight? Should I tell them what he’s doing to me every night? And that all day long I’m not good anymore?
Winter was coming; I could not wait for him anymore, by the road.
Three months have passed. Now, not only I was feeling something, but it started to be noticed. In one of “our nights” I told Josef I am pregnant.
– And, what should I do?
– You could take me!
– That I don’t know, girl, we will see about that!
These words were the hardest ones for me. He was calling me “girl”! He came for few times more, and after this at all.
Not only because of the cold weather but for the fact that I could not get with my belly in the village, I could not get outside.
One day a very amiable neighbor came to our place and told me that Josef will get married with “Ana Cucului”. Then I thought I will go out of my mind, she was my school mate, an old friend. That means she knew and… all the village knew.