The big sadness was that having insufficient time we couldn’t afford, couldn’t dear to touch any kind of important discussion being incapable, in the time we had, to end it in a proper way. This lack gets us automatically at an atmosphere of doubt, incompletion, getting to discuss only the complaisance things, that just like everyone believes, were stereotype, but this is how our love was. In a completely different way things used to happen on Sunday. Yes, that was when we used to wallow for a while. We could benefit to go at a ball, to meet other pairs, we would watch a movie and I believe the most important thing was that we could clear up the arguments that have drag on over the week or that haven’t found the answers during the week. All this in quiet and peace, with no pressure of time and no fear like other sorts of discussions, that won’t find answers, which will bring suspicions and sadness in the coming days, will take place. So, even the discussions from this night, “short” arguments, ended like all arguments during the week “in a fish tale”. My contribution at this argument was only the physical presence, looking if it was possible, to calm her down if I couldn’t avoid the argument. With all these I got home in the middle of the night. After two hours of sleep, the alarm blew up my dreams, although the clock was only doing its job. I was worried about the lack of perspective. I could not see any type of improvement from this cycle of stupefaction enforced by life: change-sleep-household-love. Maybe if I would get married … And I wouldn’t think about it if I were older, but at 19 years old … not many marriages are made … Maybe just in … “Maieru”, not in here. Too soon to shut all the “doors” for the entire life … Lets not forget about the army that takes you away from near your young wife, that you will miss. I woke up from my bed broken-hearted as if I put my bones for “tenderize” a day before. All my body was in pain and I was lightheaded. I dressed up slowly and got out the house. As I opened the door I had the filling I was thunder-stricken, that’s how frightened I was. There was a downfall. It was raining hard and blasts of wind were raising the water in incredible places, from where all the exposed and less exposed things were being washed up. It was like even the air we had to breathe was gone leaving me breathless, looking for my future opened gate of breathable air. All these have frightened me unspeakably. This kind of enmity from nature was unacceptable. With my soul bent I jumped outside. After less than two steps I went back home. I was soaked. I changed my wet clothes and took others, for rainy days. I got the calcium carbide lamp ready. I fire the lamp when my mother wakes up.